Reunion: To Go or Not to Go?
A 50th High School Reunion was planned for the first weekend in June. I graduated a year early and this was my 51st high school reunion. My dearest friend since I was 12 years old was also full of doubts to whether this was a good idea.
Our Fears?
· Would we recognize our former classmates?
· Would we remember their names?
· Would it be completely awkward?
· Would it matter that we do not remember much about high school?
· Would we look old and haggard compared to their youthful vibrance?
· Would everyone compare their many life achievements?
· Would past hurts, embarrassments, or conflicts rise to the surface one more time?
· Would present politics and religion separate and divide this small group?
Expectations
When asked about my expectations for the reunion, I did not have an answer so instead I decided what I wanted to feel. I told myself: I will feel calm, confident, compassionate and joyful. This was my mantra for a couple weeks before the event. I also decided that whatever happened along the way, I would just go with the flow.
Plans
Plans change. Plans are there as a guide not a strict, unyielding contract. Plans for being picked up from the airport changed 4 times although the original plan worked out until that morning when an unexpected twist occurred.
Other “plans” changed as well. The death of a classmate’s spouse, the sudden worsening of a friend’s cancer, traffic at the international border crossing and a missed meetup time and place altered plans.
My plan to be calm and confident sprung a leak the morning of the reunion. What if I do not know what to say? What if I say something stupid? What if I am asked about being a teenage Mom? Will the tears of shame reappear after 51 years even though I could not be happier that I have such a beautiful, loving daughter?
Reality
I could not go to the reunion with this feeling of stress and anxiety. I love my life, I love my family, and I love these dear people for wanting to meet each other again. A little music, a little meditation, a little journaling, and a hot shower and my healthy, happy self was ready for whatever would unfold this day.
Guess what? It was GREAT. No kidding. I recognized all but one former classmate! I remembered all their names! We hugged! We smiled and laughed. We shared stories from our lives. These women were now older, wiser, and absolutely remarkable. The kindness and caring oozed from their pores.
We shared a moment of remembrance for classmates who are now deceased. Maybe it is due to our age, the times we live in or something else, but there was something precious and fragile about this coming together. So many things had to conspire for us to reunite from all over the country with bold aspirations for connection to people we knew over 50 years ago.
Gratitude
When opportunity arises, say yes.
When doubts surface, choose a different point of view.
When people spend time and money to see you, be there.
If you are given opportunities for reunions just like I was, I hope you have an equally life-affirming, fun and joyous experience. I am so grateful.
